My girls and I got to watch this beautiful guy (all 100lbs of him! Because she’s a warrior of a mom!) enter the world. She earned the name of Demeter, goddess of fertility and harvest. In labor for nearly two days to try and get this guy out, she is one devoted mother as was Demeter when her daughter was abducted and she cast winter upon the land. This mama always seems to be the babysitter when the other mamas want to stroll to the feeder for a bite to eat. She cares for others as did Demeter. She’s a goddess in my eyes and she has earned that name with pride.

As we watched her struggling I decided to walk closer to her to ensure that she was not in dire need of assistance from one of us. As I crested the hill along the fence line that baby finally decided to make his grand entrance and she immediately went to work on getting him cleaned up.

When I returned back to the house where my girls were hanging out with my grandma, my grandma told me that she had said to my youngest daughter that she thought I was a brave farm girl with a big heart for any animal. My daughters response was, NO! she is not! she is just my mom.

I may just be her mom, and that may be all she see’s me as, but I do not care. That statement made me realize that I may just be her mom and that’s ok. I may have failed at a career that I tried to accomplish, but I have not failed as a mother to my children. I am not perfect and I struggle every single day with the thoughts of not being enough for my children, but they see me as enough and that’s all that matters.

Having children was always a dream for me while I was growing up. My mom made it look so easy and she made it look easy because she gave me everything that I needed. She gave me love, she gave me security, she gave me discipline, and she gave me the confidence I needed to be a good human being. Sometimes our goals do not align with life, but if you wake every day with a grateful heart for what you do have, you show simple kindness and you continue to work hard, eventually those dreams will become reality.

After moving to this rural area in the middle of nowhere I had found out I was pregnant with my second child. A time that I should have been the happiest in my life, I don’t think I could have felt more depressed. Something that I had always dreamed of, always wanted, and yet I had more emotional breakdowns on the bathroom floor than I can remember.

I had just graduated from college. I was supposed to find a good job, I was supposed to start a career, but now I was living in a bedroom with my husband, son and a baby on the way in my dad’s house. I grew up being taught that you deal with your emotions in private and you act accordingly in public. Depression or post partum didn’t even cross my mind, so I battled it on my own, I found therapy in my son and my family.

That was one of many battles throughout my life and the one thing that I have learned through those battles is that, it won’t always feel like that. As we age we find ways to cope and learn what works and what doesn’t. We learn to lean on our faith a little stronger. We as individuals need to do whatever is best for ourselves and not judge others for the path they may take.

So I may be just their mom, but after raising children for 14 years now, I have learned it is the most challenging job I will ever do, yet the most rewarding. There is no correct way to raise your children, just your way. Some may start a career before having children and some may have children and work meaningless blue collar jobs to pay the bills. Either way is ok, because children grow fast and before you know it they will be on their own and you will have plenty of time to build a career. It is also absolutely ok to be, “just a mom”.